I already know what’s coming on our first night together.
We start the year in February by watching the movie Courageous.
It’s about men reconnecting with their children. The men in the movie are sheriffs. I used to wonder if that would bother the inmates. It doesn’t. The sheriffs are flawed fathers trying to reconcile with their children. The inmates relate to that.
The inmates are nervous and apprehensive about meeting the volunteers. Will I be accepted? Will I fit in? Who and why are these volunteers coming? What’s their angle? Most of them do not have visitors.
The volunteers can be nervous too—at least the first time they volunteer. But after doing this a few times, they know what happens next. By the end of the year, the inmates will not want the program to end. Strong bonds form every year.
I’ve been doing this for over ten years, and I know what happens when we watch this movie. We turn our chairs and face the screen. Inmates and volunteers are all mixed together. The chapel is dark. The movie starts.
There are reconciliation scenes that bring tears. In those moments, I don’t want people to see me crying. I guess that’s a man thing. So I tilt my head and glance to see how the inmates are reacting.
They’re crying too. Some openly wiping tears away. A few are stoic, showing no reaction like me.
After each tearful scene passes, I wait a few minutes…then I casually scratch my ear and move across to wipe my face, brushing away tears that by now are rolling off my chin.
I glance sideways.
The stoic inmates are doing the same thing. I thought these men were tough and would never cry in front of others. Show weakness. Why do they react this way?
These are hardened men in a maximum-security prison. Many were former gang members. Most had committed serious crimes. Many have lived years—some for decades—behind these walls. Some may never get out.
So why? Then it hits me.
A dad on the outside… is still a dad on the inside.
They love their children.
But many never had good role models growing up. Their own childhood homes were broken. Now their own families have been damaged by their actions—and they know it.
They joined our program because they are ready. They want to learn how to be a better man… a father… a husband… a Godly man. To live God’s way, not their way.
They want reconciliation with their children. They want to break the cycle so their kids don’t end up where they are..
Those tears are a good sign. It means we can work with them.
In our weekly small groups, we use our books to peel back old layers and replace them with what God says is true.
If no one showed them God’s way—how would they know how to live it? Now they want to know His way. Because they’ve seen clearly… their way didn’t work.
It will be a long journey. It takes volunteers showing up every week. Time. Patience. Consistency.
These men have been living a lost life for most of their lives. There is a lot of healing to be done. A lot to learn.
But something starts that first night.
And those tears…
are a sign of a good year ahead.
— Dave